Just scroll through LinkedIn and you will see posts of 'successful' individuals receiving thousands of likes. Some overcame their financial situations and are now multi-millionaires; some overcame workplace discrimination and created their own start-up; some never received formal English lessons but are the first in their families to graduate from university. Regardless of their narrative, there is one central and consistent theme: They overcame all the odds stacked against them, worked their asses off and are now 'successful' - which unsurprisingly, seems to be only defined by 'landing a job in a famous company or matriculating into a good university'.
I'm not trying to bring down these people or saying that they don't deserve their success after all the hard work that they put in, but what about the more 'ordinary' people who put in as much effort as they did, but didn't make it - because they weren't as lucky or were hindered by some other factors? I'm sure there are plenty of such people. For every 'success story', there are perhaps hundreds or even thousands of individuals who have a similar background but are just living an ordinary life now. Did they not have the same dreams? I doubt so. But the truth, which almost none of these successful individuals said on their popular posts, is that they are really lucky. We hate to attribute our success to luck, but instead glorify our hard work. That's not wrong, but we fail to see the countless others who were in the exact same boat as us but failed to make it. Just as the confluence of multiple factors make the worst natural disasters (my heart goes out to those affected by Hurricane Ida), it is the confluence of multiple lucky events - or the lack thereof - that can totally change the course of one's life. An opportunity to meet a brilliant professor, being born into a loving family or an investor who saw the potential in your start-up because you presented first before another person with an identical idea. Everyone who has succeeded in this rat race that is our broken society owes it due to a confluence of coincidences.
I actually believe that there are countless oppportunities - these will and can never be fully equal, but are present everywhere around the world - for everyone, regardless of their family background. So it is up to the individual whether they grab those opportunities. Yet, what is really out of our control is the timing of these opportunities. Vincent Van Gogh died almost broke and Gregor Mendel's ground-breaking pea research (the theory of genetic inheritance was and still is fundamental to unlocking the mystery of ecology and evolution, so much so that students all over the world today learn about it in high school biology - myself included) was never recognised during his life. They definitely weren't 'successful' during their lifetime; I would daresay that their lives were just 'average' or even 'below average' compared to the layperson of their eras. But they are among some of the most celebrated individuals of 'human excellence and perseverance' today. They clearly had many opportunities to further their interests: Van Gogh met many other artists that inspired his change in style while Mendel was accepted into a monastery that did not prohibit, but rather, encouraged his studies and research in science. Perhaps they could be billionaire super stars if they were born in the 21st century instead. We would never know.
I'm definitely not writing this piece because I'm salty at successful people. In fact, I would think that I'm very fortunate and have had many serendipitous encounters in my short 21 years of life. I was born in a rich country, Singapore, to a middle-class family that emphasised my education and have enough money to support my university education in University College London, a college that consistently ranks among the top 10 colleges in the UK. And not to forget the many great and highly dedicated teachers who taught me and nurtured me into a better person. And just like any of you do, I definitely have my own individual dreams to be 'successful', although not quite in the monetary sense, but rather to be able to alleviate social or environmental issues through my own efforts. Sounds a bit ironical, doesn't it? Even a dream of helping the community is based on the principles of individualism (check out this article I wrote): I, a person of considerable privilege, should help others.
We are obsessed - at a borderline toxic level - with achieving 'individual greatness' in our lives. I must earn 100k by the age of 25. I must get married and buy my first bungalow by the age of 35. I must run my own start-up by the age of 27. We set all these materialistic goals for ourselves, believing that they will define us and boost our reputation. But do we believe that this 'success' will really bring happiness? Do you?
A friend shared this brilliantly written article with me last year: PSLE scores and the problem with the beloved late bloomer narrative. The late bloomer narrative is the epitome of 'our inability to accept being average' just because these individuals 'won against the odds' and are thus deemed wise enough to give advice 'about not paying heed to the path dictated by their grades'. Being the norm is 'equated with mediocrity'. Unfortunately, this doesn't apply just to Singapore, but seems to be the prevailing trend around the world, exacerbated by social media. Such a belief of 'you will eventually succeed as long as you keep working hard' fuels our competitiveness - we see peers not as friends but as enemies that we must beat in order to reach our 'success'.
The friend who sent me this article has struggled with mental health issues for years. A large part of it is attributed to their (I'm using 'they' as a gender-neutral pronoun for a single person, it does feel a bit weird reading it but I guess we can all try getting used to it) early success in life: they were from the Gifted Education Program in primary school, scored a 260+ in PSLE, and has set high expectations for themself. But once they couldn't do well in secondary school, they started doubting their own value as a human and thought that they weren't working hard enough. The stress has caused long-term devastating effects, but at least now they are in the process of recovery. Not everyone has it so lucky. Another friend who struggled with their human worth took their own life.
Does being 'exceptional' or 'outstanding' make one's life more worth living than that of an 'average' person?
A large part of our obsession with 'being exceptional' has to do with individualism -
competitiveness is an integral part of individualism - and the belief that the human psyche is evil. It is precisely this combination that has resulted in our achievment-driven society. Can we coexist with capitalism and yet adopt a
collectivist, not individualistic, mindset? Instead of pitting our children against one another from the young age of seven (and a notorious bell curve!), can we show them the power of their collective ingenuity and teamwork by getting the whole class to complete a project together? Instead of micro-managing employees and grading their worth by monitoring their KPI, can we value workers as a team and trust them to find their intrinsic motivation?
Capitalism was the bane of my existence for the past few years. I hated it so much. I thought that it was the cause of all the problems in the world, from inequality to the climate crisis. I hated that I benefitted from capitalism yet others are left behind and I couldn't do anything about it. But I have come to realise that maybe the fault doesn't lie with capitalism. It's individualism. So many people are talking about 'toxic productivity' and 'toxic positivity' when we should be talking about 'toxic individualism'. As long as we keep valuing individual greatness, I doubt we can ever solve any of the world's most pressing issues. Professors stuff scientific facts in people's faces without considering how to deliver the message with compassion (how do you think a coal mine worker would react when a white-collar worker tells you that your only source of livelihood is killing the earth?). Politicians think they are deserving of their position and believe that their actions are the most suitable for solving their country's issues. Big-tech CEOs live in their own world and imagine that they are the saviour of the world. The rest of the world watches, shakes their heads, and sigh.
Author's note
I'm going to be honest here: I secretly hope that this article will be popular or at least spark some debate. I've re-read and edited it multiple times (although not as many times as my first few articles) because I hope that it can be as flawless as possible. An 'exceptional' piece of writing, that's what I hope. But so what if it is just another 'average' or even 'mediocre' piece of writing? It doesn't mean my life is worth any less. I'm writing this piece with one month left before I begin my long-awaited journey in university. Of course, I hope to do well, find my calling in life, and get a good job. But if I don't? It ain't the end of the world. I'll be content to lead a perfectly normal life with my friends and family. I hope you would too.
Other interesting media pieces (if you have the time to):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9txz6_61QnI
Human Kind: A hopeful history by Rutger Bregman is a great read and the best book I've read this year! Absolutely thought-provoking and it challenged me to question some of my own deep-rooted biases and perceptions.
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