On rest

 

AI-generated image of a bee chilling in the mountains with a pint. I was chatting with Ethan about silly things and we came up with this. The bee sure looks like they're resting. I'm envious.

 

It's elusive. 

Thanks to my surgery, I had more than enough time to 'rest'. It was honestly a strange feeling: having no obligation to do anything, not even chores. Even when we're on leave or on the weekends, there are still things to do. I didn't have to go out to meet friends, cook, work or even do anything I didn't have to. The only thing I diligently did was my physio exercises. 

So what did I end up doing most of the time? Definitely read a lot. Had the opportunity to pick up a lot of books I've wanted to read for a while, but could never motivate myself to pick them up. I won't go too deep into the details, but you can read my previous post about reading fiction. But reading is one of those activities which we don't perceive as resting, but the very act of dedicating time to put down our phones counts as rest to me. 

One of many books I've read recently. Thanks Jia Hao for lending me this :)

Rest is an abstract concept: it's a combination of physical and mental rejuvenation. Doing nothing surely is physical recharge, but whether we feel mentally recharged depends entirely on the individual. I'm sure you'd have experienced feeling terrible after a day of rolling around in bed and scrolling. Sure, that's physical rest, but our brains aren't rested at all. To rest the mind is one of the most challenging tasks for city dwellers of the 21st century.  

Is this a systematic issue that we're unable to rest? We've been taught that we have to be working or doing something all the time. If we're not, then we're not productive and we won't be able to achieve 'success'. What a big fallacy this is. We under estimate the importance of good, healthy rest that enables us to actually process and think through the things we're doing. We all live so much of our lives in a sort of trance: rushing from one thing to another, like an albatross gliding along the wind and circumnavigating the southern ocean. Aiming for all the fish in the ocean but forgetting to enjoy the ride. 

Sometimes we really need to force ourselves to have the time and mindset to rest. This is especially important when we're constantly wired to our devices. We all have days when we're feeling restless, when we can't stop clicking on our social media apps, seeing if there has been any new notifications or messages. Everyone gets these days sometimes. It's alright. But when we notice this feeling of restlessness, it's important to do activities that ground us, and to do them without our phones. Just throw your phone in a drawer, then take a few deep breaths. Then start what you feel brings you back centre. For me, this is often taking a walk in the park, looking at trees or whatever wildlife is present, and brewing some tea. The restlessness might come back later in the day, but at least, it's a reminder to myself that I should spend more time looking at the physical objects around me.

Restlessness hinders our ability to think, to get work done efficiently, to feel good about ourselves, and most importantly, to let go of our negative thoughts. Face it, we all have unhealthy thoughts that we need to rid ourselves of. They may be insidiously affecting the rest of our thought processes without us even realising it. That's when it's dangerous. It's easy to spiral, and the depressive thoughts come in. 

Another book I read in the past few months. A fantastic reflection on life philosophy, and simple things to change the way we look at life. It did make me feel like hiding in the forests on a mountain though. Thanks Val for the read!

It's difficult to rest. I understand that. I'm also susceptible to it all the time. In fact, I had a terribly unproductive day at work, looking at my phone and turning on instagram every 15 minutes. But that's okay. Stress accumulates throughout the day like carbon dioxide fizzling inside a coca cola bottle. Being confined to an indoor space for prolonged periods of time without having the freedom to venture out is a recipe for poor mental health. I've been experiencing this of late; after close to 3 months being stuck at home after my op, life feels directionless at times. Trying to take things a day at a time is what I'm doing to cope with it, but some days I can't help but think that I'm just cruising by life. I don't feel greatly rested.

I've been editing this post for at least six weeks at this point, but I've just about gotten enough motivation to force myself to post it. Could it be because I'm just not well rested enough? I really don't know. Maybe it's melancholy. Or just some other excuse I'm giving myself. Anyway, that might be for another post. Sorry if this post is not the most coherent, since it's written over so damn many sittings. I've tried to edit it to make it coherent enough to read at one go.

At least, we could say that our generation is realising the importance of mindful rest, and even workplaces are prioritising employee's mental health. It's certainly a far cry from the rigid 9 to 6 jobs, with regular overtime. But it's essential for upper managements of companies to realise that long working hours equate to high output is nothing but a myth. Most people work efficiently for a maximum of two to three hours. There rarely ever are days when one is working non-stop for 10 hours straight. Even then, there are lull periods where employees will appreciate more freedom in determining when they want to be working. 

I'm honestly slightly dreading the return to office. I'm excited to see my colleagues again, but yet, I'm slightly dreadful of the amount of time I'll be spending on the commute and at work. My boss really isn't that particular about strict working hours, which is much better than the average person's experience. Yet, there's still this source of pressure about pretending to do work even when there might not be that much to be done. (Although the first few weeks back will be particularly busy, oops). The best thing I can hope for is that the time spent at work will make me value my free time a little more when I'm back at home. 

The last white elephant in the room is the state of our relationships. Arguably the most important factor for mindful resting. The most helpful mental rest is feeling comfortable, relaxed, and letting go of our stresses by being with people we care about. This, though, is really difficult to achieve. Thinking back to the times when I felt the most well-rested (subjective memory of course), I think I was spending the most amount of chill time with friends and family. Troubles felt slightly further away. The rarity of such transient moments make it all the more important for us to treasure them when they appear. I hope then, that you can truly and sincerely rest. Just rest. 

It's elusive, but it's attainable. I hope. 

I don't know who sent me this, but credits to you. Here, have a silly cat!

 

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Music of choice: 

Barry White Greatest Hits. Love his voice. 

Lofi Girl 'Morning Coffee'.